How To Build Self Esteem And Confidence

One of the most common questions that people have is about building their Self esteem.

Psychology Motivation Self-Improvement
  • Release Date: 19 October 2023
  • Update Date: 15 March 2024
  • Author: Speaker Agency
Self Esteem

One of the most common questions that people have is about building their Self esteem. People aren't born with high or low self esteem. Instead, it's their experiences in life that play a large role in dictating whether a person has healthy or negative self esteem.

Essentially, your self esteem is how you feel about yourself. It's the opinion that you have of you. In everyone's life, there comes times that they struggle to deal with. They could have a hard time believing in themselves. For shorter durations, this is fine. But when this becomes regular and the person continues to have a hard time believing in their abilities, this can affect their personal and professional lives. It can lead to mental health conditions such as depression as well.

Understand that it's your lifetime experiences that helps you shape your self esteem. The good news is that it's completely possible for you to change your self esteem, no matter what your age.

Let's first look at what self esteem is.

What Is Self Esteem?

Your self esteem is how you perceive yourself. For some people, their self esteem is that little voice in their head that tells them they're good enough, if they accomplish something. For others, it's the voice that says that they'll be never succeed. Chronic low self esteem can affect a person's quality of life. When you have low self esteem, this indicates that you don't value yourself enough.

Self esteem isn't actually about ability. It's possible for people who are good at a certain thing, like cooking, to have low self esteem about their cooking skills. A person who has good self esteem usually feels positive about themselves. They have a positive approach towards life as well. They are resilient and can handle the ups and downs of life better.

A person with low self esteem on the other hand is more critical of themselves. They have a harder time dealing with setbacks and challenges which can lead to them avoiding difficult situations. This can in turn make their self esteem worse, as avoiding problems often makes them worse. To boost self esteem, there are several things that you can do, such as focus on positive thoughts, practice skills that you're good at, and more. 

Self Esteem 2

Why Do Some People Have Low Self Esteem?

To answer the question -how to build self esteem and confidence', you must first know what self esteem is. You should also know what low self esteem is, and what can cause people to experience it. There could be multiple reasons that factor into why a certain person develops low self esteem.

Often, low self esteem is built up from childhood itself. They could feel like they are unable to live up to the expectations others have of them. Adult experiences, like working in a toxic work environment can also affect self esteem. It isn't just the childhood but also the adulthood experiences that forms the opinions people have of themselves. In the same way that someone's healthy self esteem can become negative due to life's experiences, low self esteem and confidence can be improved. This is how you do it.

How Do You Improve Your Self Esteem?

Physical Health

There are several things that you can do, to improve your confidence and self esteem. Let's go through a few things that you can start doing today:

1. Identify What Your Negative Beliefs Are 

First, you'll need to identify what negative beliefs you hold. On the self esteem scale, where do you see yourself? Improving self esteem involves understanding what affected your self esteem in the first place.

Start noticing when you have negative thoughts about yourself. Any time a negative thought enters your mind, use facts to counter that thought. Use evidence from your life to remind yourself that you aren't stupid, incapable, or anything else that you might believe about yourself. 

2. Write Down Positive Aspects Of Yourself 

Aside from focusing on your negative thoughts, also turn your attention to what you like about yourself. Confidence building exercises like this can help you combat negative thoughts. A big part of improving your self worth involves inculcating positive internal dialogue. At the beginning, you may find yourself thinking about yourself more negatively. But with conscious effort, you can build a positive place for yourself within your mind. You can improve self esteem by focusing on your positive attributes. 

3. Building Positive Relationships 

Boosting self assurance goes hand in hand with building positive relationships. When you have people around you who make you feel good about yourself, this can improve your overall life experience. If you know people who make you feel bad about yourself, consider avoiding them. They can affect your self esteem, especially at a time when you're trying to build a positive mindset.

4. Don't Aim For Perfection 

If you want to work on self esteem building, then remember to not strive for perfection. Your self esteem will vary from situation to situation. You could feel more comfortable at home but as soon as you get to work, your self esteem takes a hit. For some people, the opposite is true.

Remember to be kind to yourself and know that you don't have to be perfect every single time. Don't criticize yourself, especially not in front of other people. Avoid people who are negative towards you or give others a negative idea about you. When you do succeed at something, remember to give yourself a treat. This can help you to reinforce positive behavior.

Love Yourself

5. Improving Physical Health 

There are physical signs of low self esteem as well. A person with low self esteem might slouch more, look away while talking, look messy and might have a hard time paying attention. When you feel bad about yourself, this can reflect in your appearance. The opposite is also true.

By going out of your way to take care of yourself, you are actively combating your low self esteem. You already know what is low Self esteem. Taking regular care of your physical health, eating and exercising well can go a long way towards improving your self esteem.


These building self confidence tips should go a long way towards helping you build your self esteem. Use the self esteem development strategies in this guide, such as consciously replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, to benefit from them.

You can also enquire about any of the speakers and trainers at Speaker Agency, to learn all about self esteem and confidence building. From corporate seminars to talks, the speakers from Speaker Agency have helped large numbers of people improve their life in tangible ways.

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